Â "Whatever you fight, you strengthen. And what you resist, persists" – Eckhart Tolle.
Since having candida overgrowth, things have been quite tough. As IÂ explained in my article; ‘Candida, binge eating and the gut-brain connection’, 90-95% of serotonin, which is a neurotransmitter that regulates mood, is made in the gut. So if you have even a small imbalance in the gut, you will experience things such as, depression, anxiety, anti-socialism, loss of appetite, cravings, binge eating, poor digestion, sleeping problems, bad memory, brain fog and not to mention the other problems that stem from those ones. Then on top of that, food plays a huge role in our everyday lives and mood, so once you have to follow a certain nutritional diet or intensive protocol, it means you’re focusing on food and it really can affect you.Â
So back to the Eckhart quote which has had such an effect on me a few times in my life. Yesterday, i realised how much i was actually resisting the truth and, what is. I was living in the past, wanting to be how IÂ used Â to be and not accepting how IÂ am right now in this moment. But by thinking this way, how can IÂ ever expect to feel better, let alone, get better. Surely showing ourselves more self love, real authentic love, then better things can come of that. Not many people in the world have cured their illnesses with negative and hateful thinking. Stress will have such a huge, and negative affect on the body, and even worse if there is already illness present.Â
Yesterday, IÂ had a kind of mad scientist moment and started researching and understanding more about candida overgrowth and the body. I was feeling better instantly because IÂ wasn’t focusing on how IÂ used to be and what IÂ can’t do, but on what i’m going to do and where IÂ WILL be. (Positive affirmation and manifesting!)
I had already accepted that my training was going to be put on hold for a while and I had completely surrendered to that, which was tough. ButÂ I hadÂ stopped feeling angry when IÂ couldn’t train, and guess what? My world didn’t end and IÂ didn’t blow up like a balloon or shrivel up like an empty one. Lesson learned .. touche universe. But, IÂ had stopped there, thinking that was enough. Then IÂ stumbled across an interview with India Arie, whom I adore so much because she is so truthful and completely her authentic self in an industry which is tough to be just that. She was talking to Oprah about a time she was having health problems and she was trying everything to get rid of it. She was also trying to finish an album and really pushing herself to get it done. Then she realised she needed a break. She took herself to her favourite place and sat with herself and just accepted everything as it was. She realised that all of the stress, all of the problems and the resisting were actually coming out as an illness. Now, I have read so many books and knew all of this "intellectually" as India says in the interview. But even if we have done it before in a completely different situation, it can be very easy to forget how to do it in another. I think it helps to have some sort of daily reminder to show us how we accepted and stopped resisting in the past and that everything will be OK! Because it always will, at some point.Â Someone can tell you until they’re blue in the face but it has to happen within. I tried to force it because i knew that IÂ wasn’t accepting me as IÂ am, today. But that didn’t work because it wasn’t authentic.Â
I’m not telling you that India’s illness got better instantly or that IÂ will now be miraculously cured tomorrow because IÂ have accepted it all, but things will start working for you. The universe will start working with you, not against you, now that you’re open to receive. My day has already felt much better that the past couple of weeks, and it’s only 10am. I would hide behind shades in public hoping no one would talk to me, keep myself to myself and IÂ just almost stopped living because i didn’t want this and it was tough. I would say things like, "I can’t live like this anymore." And by putting those thoughts out, what I wasÂ telling the universe was, "IÂ give up, i’m not living anymore." And by that IÂ don’t mean in a suicidal way, IÂ just mean stop really living and start existing. And that’s what IÂ got. That’s what I attracted.Â
Some days will be better than others because it can’t be perfect and if we run from the bad times then were just resisting again. Some days IÂ feel wiped out and just have to accept it and relax and heal. So accepting that, is what makes it easier and surely even feeling better from accepting is much nicer than fighting what you don’t want to happen, because it probably will anyway.
Today my mood was different. I wasn’t high as a kite or fake, but felt a sense of calm. I woke up earlier, took the bins out to the bin men and said hi to them, had a nice walk to the shop and had a chat with the lady at the till, said good morning to a man who passed me and just sort of felt a sigh of relief. I felt like IÂ haven’t been myself for a while and that IÂ couldn’t be, but today just felt as if I hadÂ stopped hiding.Â
So, here’s some tips from me to you ….
1. Accept and surrender to it!Â
When you’re ready. Forcing it won’t help it happen any quicker. Be with yourself in a quiet, calm place that you like. Breathe and accept everything and be honest with yourself because whether it’s good or bad, that’s how it is.Â
2. Put a plan of action together!Â
Once you have accepted, you can start moving forward.
3. Don’t run from thought or feeling!
When we run from how we really feel or we pretend, we’re resisting and we’ll never get passed it. Repeat step 1 and let the feelings flower. Cry, be angry, and then you can let go and move forward.Â
4. Be grateful and thankful!
Get a notebook and everyday write what you are grateful for and this will help you focus on positives and feel happier.
5. Do something your soul enjoys!
Not what you have to or should be doing. For me, I obviously love training but IÂ do it everyday. My soul loves singing, music, animals, candles,Â incense, reading, anything creative and hand on and being outside.Â You’ll feel better instantly because again you’re not resisting what you soul wants and you’re being your authentic you.Â
Thank you for making it this far and i hope it has helped at least 1 person!!Â
Thank you to all those who have helped me on my journey <3Â
Written by Stephanie Rowden